Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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