Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
