there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
