I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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