I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
