So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
