well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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