i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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