So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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