I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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