put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
