so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize