Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
