And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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