I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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