Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
