I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
