Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
