Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
