Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish you could order shots online.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I need moral support for this bender
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think my moral compass just broke
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
