it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
