It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
