420 ftw
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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