my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize