tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
