come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
