i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My liver just had a heart attack.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I believe in your delicious
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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