i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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