She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
