The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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