Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
