You're completely useless in the revolution.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize