My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
