Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
