Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
