So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
