love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
