Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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