I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the raccoons are back...
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