The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
nutella sex= disaster
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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