Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
