I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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