Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
