I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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