I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
