Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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