those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
