I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
