So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize