"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
