mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
