do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
