Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
