I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Found your dick twin last night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
