So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Mom said you looked used
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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