I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize