its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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