If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
