I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
