I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
