i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
