You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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