You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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