I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
