Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
