I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
