i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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