Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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