man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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